Saturday 4 September 2010

Guest post: Who says we need support?

Who said we need support? Written by Catherine, an ex-Bristol Leader currently in Perth, Australia. Cath writes about the kindness and friendship she found at LLL meetings. Taken from LLL Bristol's recent newsletter.

I am always stuck for words when a mum comes to me not seeing how a breastfeeding support group could help her, not seeing that a LLL meeting is much more than just listening to a theoretical talk on ‘how to’. Why should she need such a group? She had no problem at all breastfeeding, it was all very natural to her. However often as the discussion unfolds I realise she would have loved to know more about natural weaning or breastfeeding through pregnancy, or just hearing another experienced mum reassuring her on a specific behavior of her son. Is that not all that you can find at a LLL meeting?

Being quite a strong headed and self confident person, one would assume I am not the kind of influence-able person who would easily change her mind or attitude because of others. However I have come to realise how invaluable my network in Bristol was and how it helped me and supported me in my journey into parenting. Not just for breastfeeding or night time parenting, no, it helped me in much more ways than one could imagine and on so many different levels.

Today I want to write to all those women I met in Bristol, to let them know how invaluable their input, their sharing, their teaching, their softness and their smile has meant to me, today I want to tell them that I keep them in my mind everyday, when I feel challenged, when I see my girls happy, when I see how they are blossoming through gentle parenting.

Today I want to thank them.

I feel so grateful I came across LLL at the start of my journey. So blessed I have met women and mums like April, Floredia and Kate who were all LLL leaders when my first one was born. They were such a role modeling for me, such an inspiration in gentle parenting. There was also all the mums, some of them who became my best friends who always had the right words or funny attitude that would lift my hearts on those challenging days. I could make a long list of all those beautiful moments, those special times when we were all in awe of our new babies and completely exhausted from the broken-broken-broken nights. This has created such a strong bond between us, such a treasurable unique smile in my heart. Naively I thought that sort of network was available everywhere, in any city with mums and babes. How wrong was I! This is such an amazing network, such a beautiful group, and even if I know the mums are probably not the same, there is that core group and the leaders who are just so precious. Make the most of it, use it, observe, listen, share, welcome others ways of doing without judging. Just appreciate the difference, enjoy the companionship, embrace the different ways of mothering. Patience is just such a quality I admire. A quality I have truly discovered through other mums going to the meetings in Bristol.

After more than 10 years in Bristol we have decided to move on to different shores (less muddy, more sunny ;-) Everything here is different to UK. Birth, much more medicalised, breastfeeding more discreet, mums groups being very few and mainly organised via the hospital. All our parenting choices which I felt very supported through in Bristol suddenly sound very extreme and slightly coming from another planet. Thankfully I had gained confidence before moving here, thankfully I am very supported by my partner!

Now we have settled down here I so much want to recreate that sort of group, a place where mothers with their babes and their toddlers will find a supportive group to share and chat, to be and to sit back, may be even to learn something new or just be reminded of something gentle. I so wish to give that back as it has been such a major part of my journey, something I would always be grateful for.

To all of you beautiful inspiring mamas: Thank you!

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